Happy Wedding Day :(

Today would have been my wedding day. Instead I am standing alone at HBC watching people get on with their SL lives.

My time with my friend watching over me came to an end. Our times in-world were just not matching up, so we agreed it would be best for me to be freed. We are still very close friends, and I love her dearly for trying to help me. I am feeling very empty this past week, it is amazing how we can put so much of our selves into this SL world we visit. I just seem to be stuck in a funk, both RL and SL.

So anyhow, I just needed to vent a little, I will end this pity party of a entry, and wish you all the very best life has to offer, be it RL or SL!

Bless you all

Sad, lonely, empty

Well, sometimes things are too good to be true. Lidia and I became engaged, but less than 3 weeks before our wedding things fell apart. I won't discuss the details in this blog, but if you read this and ask me in private I will explain things to you. I will say that I was deceived is all.

A dear friend has taken me under her wing in SL, I wear her collar and I will just see how things develop from here. I seem to be riding lots of different emotions lately, but I am beginning to feel that I am not worthy of being loved. So many have hurt me over the years, it is very depressing.

Anyway, I am trying to move on. I have forgiven Lidia for deceiving me, and we still talk a little. I am trying to make the best of SL, though it seems to bring tears to my eyes quite often these days. I still have many good friends in SL, I would hate to lose them, so I will stay with it for now. That's about all the news for now. If you do take time to read this, please let me know. Thank you all.

It is amazing how things work out.......

A few days after I published my last post, I met Lidia. When you see us together you may wonder how all this came to be between us, so here is the official story of what happened.

It was late November the year that Lidia and Kendra met. Kendra was the attractive socialite party girl, with a lifestyle fueled by a generous annuity from her parents. Lidia was the shy, quiet type, serving as Science Officer aboard a starship. They met, talked and for whatever reason there was an instant attraction. They soon became practically inseparable, with Lidia often on the end of Kendra’s leash.

Weeks passed and the two had fallen in love. Kendra was surprised and highly curious when Lidia’s starship was sent out into space with Lidia left behind. Lidia explained that she didn’t ship out because she was working on a “Top Secret Special Project” for the space fleet. Inquisitive to the point of being nosy, Kendra continually asked Lidia about the nature of this special project. Lidia, with a secret of her own to protect, would only say that her work was highly classified and sanctioned at the highest levels of the government.

Finally, one night, Kendra’s curiosity overcame her common sense. Kendra stole the entry codes from Lidia’s laptop as she slept, and broke into the laboratory where Lidia worked. Kendra was horrified at what she discovered in the lab. Lidia was working on a project to subjugate and control alien races and species the government considered to be a threat, or even simply undesirable. In essence Lidia was working on a project to turn the entire population of a planet into faceless living drones!

Security sensors inside the lab alerted Lidia that someone was lurking about, when nobody should have been there. Acting urgently, Lidia alerted space fleet security, and quickly pulled on her uniform. Lidia was teleported, stun pistol in hand, directly from her bedroom to the lab in a position some 4 meters behind the intruder. Kendra heard the whisper, and saw the brief flash of light of the teleport behind her. She spun to face the arrival, and was totally shocked when she saw Lidia leveling the stun pistol at her. Lidia was in a state of total disbelief when she saw her new girlfriend turn to face her. The two lovers made eye contact and stared at each other, neither moving, for what seemed an eternity. Kendra moved first, she opened her mouth to speak and before she could make a sound, Lidia fired. Kendra crumpled to the floor, unconscious. Lidia stepped over to the unconscious woman and looked down at her, a flood of emotions filling her mind. The pit of her stomach felt as though it was full of lead, as she knew that Kendra could never be allowed to tell anyone what she had seen in the lab.

Lidia was aware her work was highly immoral, and highly illegal as well. However, she also knew that her government benefactors had made her a very rich woman, secretly transferring enormous amounts of wealth into her various accounts. If she turned Kendra over to government security forces, she knew that Kendra would be eliminated, quickly, quietly and completely. Her project would be safe, but her conscience would not ever be clear. Worse, Lidia loved Kendra and couldn’t bear the thought of being without her. Lidia holstered her stun pistol and quickly began taking action that would secure the safety of her project, of her new found wealth, and of her lover.

Kendra awoke, lying on her back on some sort of bed. Her mind felt a bit fuzzy, but her thoughts quickly cleared as she remembered Lidia with the stun pistol pointed at her chest. She could see she was still in Lidia’s lab, but everything looked a bit too dark, a bit detached and definitely surreal. She called Lidia’s name, but it seemed she couldn’t hear herself. She called louder, still no sound. Panicking she screamed for Lidia and tried to get of the bed, only to find she was strapped down to it! Suddenly Lidia’s face appeared in her field of vision, Kendra calmed a bit at the sight of her lover, but she was still terrified. Lidia began speaking to Kendra in a soothing voice, explaining the nature of the project, and how it had made her very wealthy. To Kendra, Lidia’s voice sounded a bit electronic, as though it was coming through some type of com-link. Lidia had decided that Kendra would understand things better and more quickly if she knew what had happened to her while she was out. To this end, she held up a large mirror for Kendra to see herself in. Kendra looked into the mirror and saw a human female form, except this female had very glossy black skin. The most unsettling thing about this vision was the female’s head, as it was enclosed in a compact helmet with no human features at all, just the shiny black skin the rest of the body was in. Kendra began to thrash against her restraints, not wanting to see this image Lidia was holding before her. Then in a moment of abject horror Kendra realized the image in the mirror moved when she did, and that she was truly looking at reflection of herself, sealed head to toe in the black rubbery skin!

Lidia spent the next few hours trying to comfort her lover. Kendra was told that the project Lidia was working was illegal, and discovery by the authorities could lead to Lidia facing the death penalty. To that end Kendra could not be allowed to be free ever again. It terrified Kendra to find out she was now simply Test Subject K-1227. Lidia also revealed to Kendra that she now had Kendra’s power of attorney, and that all of Kendra’s finances and property were under her control. Further Lidia explained that although she loved being leashed and led around by Kendra, the tables had now turned and it was Kendra who would be leashed and controlled. For Kendra the worst part was when Lidia explained and then demonstrated how the suit gave Lidia total control of everything, including her senses. After Kendra calmed down enough Lidia released the straps that tied Kendra down, allowed Kendra the ability to speak, and then held her lover tightly as she cried herself to sleep.

Lidia and Kendra now live a simple life together. With time Kendra has forgiven Lidia for trapping her in the rubbery isolation suit, and they spend their time happily in love with each other. Lidia still has her research work, and the financial rewards she secretly reaps from it. Kendra lives in an exquisite Catch-22. Accept life in the suit, and be able to be with the one she loves forever, or enlist help and devise an escape from the suit. A plan that would surely end up with Lidia imprisoned or worse, and Kendra left alone in the world to deal her own conscience and the demons it creates.

And so their story continues………………..

Boy, I am bad at this.......

I know, it's been ages again, and I am sorry. Well SL has been up and down for me since the last post. Layle and I are no longer a couple, and I am coping with the death of a SL relationship with another, that ended badly on the day before Thanksgiving. Right now SL feels very empty to me, as I have lots of hurt and anger at how things went. I guess at this point, you would have to say I am taking my SL experience a day at a time, and I will see if it leads me anywhere. God Bless you all, and a very early Merry Christmas.
Kendra.....

A long time again......

This is weird. Layle Lebed and I have been back together as a couple for over a month now. Those of you that know me, know that Layle and I have been up and down for about 3 years now. It seems the stars have finally aligned for us. Today I accepted her collar. I am so excited by all this right now! The past month on SL has been about the best month I can remember on SL. I am so thankful that things have really come full circle, and we are moving forward as a couple! In RL things have not been so good, so this happy SL turn of events have made things so much better! I am not going to over-post things about my RL auto accident, so you'll have to IM me in SL to get more detailed updates. Be well everyone, and God Bless!

Happy New Year!

Hello again everyone! Once again I am trying to make sure to keep up on this at least monthly. RL has been pretty up and down for me. I had to have surgery in June 2015, and the recovery isn't going as well as I had hoped. I guess I rely on SL for some social stimulation, since I don't always get out RL that much anymore.

For those of you who don't know, I am part of a wonderful D/s family on SL. It is headed by my Miss, Cross Kira. She has been a wonderful friend to me, both before and after I accepted her collar. Also I spend lots of time with my SL sister Jo, I just love her to pieces. I can't say enough nice things about her. The other "main" member of our family is Trudie, and though I don't see her as much as I'd like, she always makes my heart beat a little faster and a smile come to my lips.

That said, during my evening times I am often alone on SL. For legitimate reasons my family members aren't on during the RL evening where I live (USA Central). I often get lonely, and here is my main complaint. If you tell me you want to get to know me, become friends or even something more then don't become my friend and vanish! This has happened to me several times in the past few months and I am quite tired of it. It just drains the fun from SL for me. Ok enough of my whining. All I can say is I am going to be a lot more careful as to whom I open my heart to on SL for now on. I hope you all have a wonderful 2016!

Sorry to everyone if I don't seem myself lately. I am just feeling very overwhelmed with RL issues. Please forgive me.